At Yoga, when the teacher reads the following:
In Case Nobody Told You…
Don’t invest in other people’s opinion of you.
You can change yourself a hundred different ways to get other people to approve of you and there will still be those who don’t. Your beauty will please some and threaten others. Your intelligence will impress one person and offend another. You will be too tall, too short, too smart, too attractive, too nice, not nice enough, too talented, too poor, and not educated enough for people who are determined to not like you. You must decide that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. Their opinions don’t make your bed, pay your bills, or fill your stomach, so stop investing your focus and energy into them.
If you have been reading my posts, you know I’ve struggled with this. I spent a great deal of my life bending and changing who I was for the people around me. And despite my current confidence, I still struggle with it from time to time. I find myself questioning who I am, and feeling guilt for not being more like the person I think others want me to be.
Last night I found myself in that negative spiral and asked my husband “don’t you wish I was more like you?” To which he responded “No, I knew who I married.”
Of course I didn’t let that go.
“But don’t you wish I was more bubbly, more agreeable, less aggressive. I don’t know, don’t you wish I just didn’t blurt out exactly how I feel all the time. ”
Him “No, that’s what I love about you”
Me skeptical. . . okayyy (you’ve passed the test)
Now the older I get, the easier it gets to just be me. To trust that those who chose to be around me, love me. To not care about the opinions of people that don’t understand, nor like me. But despite it being easier, I still find myself craving acceptance from time to time. There are people I want to like me. People that I wish, like my husband, loved the parts of me that he loves.
I don’t want to tip toe and fill with anxiety every time I’m trying to figure out how to navigate, how another person wants me to respond. I want to just respond with how I feel, but I don’t. I dwell. I make myself sick trying to find a compromise between being myself – doing what’s right for me and doing what I think the other person expects of me.
It’s this constant internal struggle.
We’re now holding our final resting pose and the following is read:
7 Cardinal Rules for Life
- Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present
- What other people think of you is none of your business
- Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
- No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
- Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- Stop thinking too much. It’s alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.
- Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.
All 7 resonated with me; some more than others. I finish that yoga class feeling a sense of acceptance, a sense of peace, a confidence reminder that I needed.
I’m on the right path for me. That’s what matters.