starting a family (or not)

I beg of you, please stop asking me when we’re going to start a family.
I beg of you, please stop telling me the benefits of having babies.
I beg of you, please stop reminding me of my age, and telling me time is running out.

I never understood people pressuring others to have children. Or making them feel bad for not having children. Whether you decide to have kids, or not have kids, that is a personal decision between you and your significant other. I’m sick of feeling guilty for not wanting what you want for me.

Right now, my husband and I are happy just being husband and wife. We feel fulfilled in our life, as it is today. We aren’t ready to start a family, and we might never be ready. And that’s okay. You don’t need children to be fulfilled. I am in no way saying children are terrible, I’m simply saying you shouldn’t feel pressured to have kids if it’s not something you want. If it is something you want, go for it! Make those babies!

You even see it with actresses, like Jennifer Aniston. How many times over the years has the media questioned her decision not to have kids? Or the media saying she is pregnant because a photo made her stomach look a little rounder? Too many. It’s not appropriate. Not to mention, you really don’t know what people are going through. How many women can’t get pregnant. Getting the pressure from family and friends when you’re going through infertility must be heartbreaking.

I’m not saying you can’t ask “hey do you guys want kids” when the subject of children is there, but you shouldn’t be pressuring people. And you shouldn’t bring it up repeatedly hoping for a different answer

Would Richard want kids? Yes, some day. But he also knew my feelings on the subject coming into the marriage. He knew I was unsure, and there was a strong possibility that being with me, meant not having kids. This wasn’t a deal breaker for him. He knew being with me, meant the reality of it just being us (and you know all the fur-animals we can fit in the house).

I’m not saying I’ll never have a child, but I’m not having one anytime soon. I’m turning 32 this Friday, and I’m aware that there’s a shelf life on this baby making machine, but that expiration isn’t this week. We have some years to decide what we’re going to do. But that decision is between me and my husband and no one else.

So, let us live our life. Let us enjoy the pleasure of being husband and wife. Let us love each other, because that’s enough for us right now.

 

Feature Photo by: Janeé Cicero

1 thought on “starting a family (or not)

  1. 👏👏👏👏

    Like

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